


Z: Zoonotic

by brokxnharry



Series: Teen Wolf A-Z Challenge (with songs) [26]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Deputy Derek Hale, Derek Hale Comes Back, Eternal Sterek, Eventual Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Far Future, Fluff and Humor, Growing Old Together, Held at Gunpoint, Hurt Derek, M/M, Matchmaker Cora Hale, Minor Melissa McCall/Sheriff Stilinski, Pining Stiles Stilinski, Post-Season/Series 03, Scott is too, Sheriff Stiles Stilinski, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles is a father, derek is high but not in a bad way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 12:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12557552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokxnharry/pseuds/brokxnharry
Summary: Stiles' eyes moved across the hallway, falling onto a figure sitting, with a bloody ice-bag, a frown that was unlike anything he'd ever seen. Or not ever, just, for the past fifteen or so years.Or,Stiles was a father now. A working, single, father. Who cares if he was still stupidly in love with Derek who'd just come back into his life?





	Z: Zoonotic

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Zebra - Beach House

Stiles had his weekly lunch-date with Melissa. He couldn't really remember how it started, but it became a tradition of theirs, especially when they both had to work, and couldn't find the time to rush home and have **_actual_** meals, instead of their pre-heated, overcooked, takeout from the single somewhat healthy restaurant, a few blocks away from the hospital. It was easy. It always seemed to be with her. She told him all the happy stories of her day, her eyes almost falling shut every time she laughed. She moved her hands around, fluid and animated and effortless, her limbs in sync with the words falling through her lips. Stiles sometimes thought she was mocking him; how he kind of acted words out instead of simply saying them, how everything about him sometimes moved, like he was on an endless high, no crash in sight. But there were dark circles beneath her eyes now, graying hairs prominent despite how young she still felt. She was getting older, slower, and Stiles figured, she probably had to talk like that, because if she stopped moving, she didn't know if she'd be able to start again. If the years would weigh her down so much, her shoulders would hunch, and her back would break, and everything about her would start to shake.

Stiles told her things too. Sometimes, it felt like he saved up all the week's stories, to give them to her then. Although, they saw each other a lot during the week, since she was pretty much living with him and his dad now, this felt like their **_own_** time. Like it was meant to be about just them. And Stiles thought of his mother, every single time he wanted to call Melissa by her title. She probably would have liked Melissa. She would have liked how his dad looked when she was around, it was kind of incredible.

His radio wasn't quieting down, so he collected the trash, kissed Melissa on the cheek, and promised to see her later. He threw the empty bags into the recycling bin, touching his pockets to make sure he didn't forget anything. His eyes moved across the hallway, falling onto a figure sitting, with a bloody ice-bag, a frown that was unlike anything he'd ever seen. Or not ever, just, for the past fifteen or so years. And – wow, there was something like a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, easing all the wrinkles away, dusting off years and years of misery, widening until it looked like he'd never been hurt at all. There were small hands, tugging at his Jeans – apparently, Derek wore those now, **_dad Jeans_ ** – a full head of hair staring up at him like he put the universe back around its axis, helped it turn right, like he'd saved a world or two. Stiles had always thought Derek deserved to be looked at like that.

Stiles watched them co-exist so peacefully, so lovingly, and it reminded him of all those stories Derek used to tell, about family and children and a kind of wholesomeness they never quite had together. They didn't really have anything together, always danced around one another, for years, until Cora left for college and Derek went along, and oh was their goodbye cowardly, filled with urging looks and pleas to be safe and not to stay. Stiles thought Derek had wanted him to give him a reason to stay, but he was far too prideful, too stubborn, and he thought he should have been enough for a reason. He thought Derek should have just stayed, for him, even if nothing ever happened, even if they never managed to force the words out, to be fucking honest for once in their lives, at least –

And Derek was watching him now too; longing and needing and disbelieving. The little girl's eyes were towards him too, more curious than anything. Stiles' hands were shaking, moving, so he put them in the air, into something like a wave. Derek waved too, laughed a little, and then he was moving and Stiles was too – when did that happen, when did they decide to do that – and they were hugging rather awkwardly, around the child's figure and the ice-pack against Derek's nose and the distance drilled between them through the years, the unfamiliarity of it all.

When they pulled away, Derek squeezed his eyes shut to keep from swaying, till the ground stopped shifting beneath his feet, and there was only one Stiles in front of him, instead of six.

" That looks gnarly, is it broken?" Derek barely shivered, as Stiles' hand fell onto his own, moving it away from his nose. He didn't think he was breathing, didn't think he was doing anything, in fear of him fading away, disappearing before Derek ever could trace the years around his features, memorize all their imprints on him, all the ways he was different, wasn't what he remembered him to be. Stiles cursed under his breath, guided the ice-pack back onto Derek's nose, smiling regretfully.

" Yeah, definitely broken. Did someone check you over already?" Stiles started searching the floor, looking for someone he'd recognize, but Derek cleared his throat, like he'd tried to speak before, but couldn't quite find his voice. Stiles looked back at him; patient, comforting.

" They popped it back into place, said they still needed to clean it up, bandage it properly and all that." Stiles nodded in understanding, putting his hands into his pockets to hide their familiar tremble, the itch to touch that never really went away.

" What were you doing here? Are you hurt?" Derek's eyes were searching what they could find of Stiles, missing what they couldn't.

" No, no, I'm fine. I was just having lunch with Melissa."

" Oh that's," Then, there was a small sound, calling something out that didn't make much sense, but Derek patted the little girl's back like she was the one in pain, and Stiles couldn't help but think of how time had softened him, mellowed all his edges, broken the thorns around his heart and made him **_feel_** again.

" This is Luna, Cora's daughter. Say hi, Luna."  She waved her hand, shying away when Stiles reached out to hold it. She buried her face into Derek's shoulder, giggling, and Stiles was sort of in love.

" Oh my God, Cora is a **_mum_** , how is that working out?" Stiles was touching what he could of Luna, unknowingly cataloguing all the ways she reminded him of Cora. But Cora wasn't a mother then, and he didn't know what else she was now, that she wasn't all those years ago. He probably no longer knew her at all.

" It's kind of nuts, to be honest, but I love it. Luna is the best." Luna squealed, like she understood the praise. Laughter tumbled out of their mouths before they could bother to stop it.

" Is she, you know, human, or,"

" No, no, a born werewolf. An irrationally strong one of those too." Derek rolled his eyes, groaned, when it somehow vibrated through his nose, hurt like a bitch.

" Yeah, I bet."

" Honestly, I don't know how you did it your whole life. Being human **_sucks_**." Luna pushed at Derek's chest, until he put her down, and she started wobbling away, making sounds that were probably everything that happiness was supposed to be. Stiles lifted a curious eyebrow, chuckling slightly.

" What, the big bad alpha can't handle a few years without his powers?"

" I haven't been that in so long now. Just, the big, bad uncle getting his nose broken by his two-year-old werewolf niece. It's embarrassing, Stiles, like, I don't phase her whatsoever." Derek's eyes fell onto Luna, and he didn't look all that angry, really. He probably wasn't. He didn't have any regrets when it came to giving his alpha powers up to save his sister's life. He would never change anything about that. Didn't mean he couldn't miss the healing aspects of things. Stiles huffed out a laugh, didn't have the air for more, so he smiled instead.

" I have one of those too." He didn't know why he felt the need to put it out there, to gloat, or to inform, or just to fill the silence with something. He didn't know, couldn't tell, but Derek's eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

" A werewolf niece?"

" No, well, technically, I have two of those. Scott and Kira have twins, a boy and a girl, they're turning one soon. But I have a boy, a son; Milo. He's four." Stiles was retrieving his wallet, taking out the picture he had of him, before Derek ever asked for it. Derek's breath stuttered, fell into a gasp, as he took in the bright neon-lights sign spelling out _you were gone for too long, it's too late_.

" Oh, wow. I- he has your eyes. This is- wow, it's great, Stiles. I'm happy for you."

" Yeah, thanks, he's kind of awesome." Stiles was tempted to put the picture to his mouth, but he refrained, because how cliché was that? So he put it away, cleared his throat to keep from getting choked up.

" This is taking too long, get into that room, I'll clean this up for you before this one starts getting fussy." Stiles touched Luna's nose, making a pop sound, as she giggled, taking his hand and tugging. Stiles wished she would always stay this pure, this innocent.

" What? No, wait, Stiles, you don't have to do that."

" Yeah, I know. Come on, then." Stiles opened the door to a room, checked to make sure it was empty, then nudged his head, urging him forward.

" Are you sure you're equipped for this? I mean," Stiles scoffed, seemingly offended, but, not really.

" It's a broken nose, not open-heart surgery, Jesus Christ. Also, I trained under Melissa for a few months, took most of the courses she did, so I'm pretty sure you'll be okay." Luna wobbled into the room, Stiles followed, letting the door close behind him, but Derek was in there, before it could. He kind of watched Stiles, kind of looked for the doors in him, jumbling their locks, trying to see if anything would give.

" So, uh, training under Melissa, huh?" Derek asked, as Stiles wiped the smudged blood away.

" Yeah. Had to have some medical background to take the deputy tests and whatnot."

" Oh yeah, I see from your costume and all. Wait, costume isn't the right word here, uniform? Is that it?" Derek wanted to slap himself. Stiles looked somewhere in the middle, between wanting to slap him and kiss him. It could go either way, really.

" Uniform, yes. I'm not dressed up as a kinky maid trying to strip you out of your clothes and money, am I? What the hell is **_wrong_** with you?" And then they were laughing, and Luna was too, clapping her hands enthusiastically, and Derek wondered if he could have had this all along. If this is what it would have looked like, if he'd stayed.

" You're good to go." Stiles said, and wasn't that just the most cynically ironic thing Derek had ever heard. He nodded, carried Luna, and prepared to leave. Stiles' eyebrows furrowed, taking in how quiet things still were, how deserted the floor seemed to be.

" That wasn't there before we went into that room, was it?" Stiles touched the bloody smudge on the wall. It was still wet, fresh. He took out his radio, put it to his mouth, and asked if there were any calls from the hospital, any reports about things going wrong. Flora –the dispatch lady as old as his father but young and sassy in ways he never would be – informed him that they got no calls, things were supposed to be going smoothly.

_" Keep an eye out for me, will you?"_

_" Don't I always?"_

_" That's still sexual harassment, Flora."_

_" Why don't you cuff me for it then? I wouldn't-"_

_" Other people can hear this shit, Flora, goddammit. Just let me know if you hear anything, alright? Did Parrish head out to take Milo home?"_

_" Yes, he did, like he always does. When are you going to stop asking?"_

_" When you stop giving me shit for it. I'll be back at the station soon."_

_" Can't wait."_

Stiles groaned, put the radio back into his pocket, and left his hand around his pistol. He had a bad feeling about this.

" What's going on, Stiles?" Derek felt the need to whisper, so he did, leaning his head so close to Stiles', he felt his long hairs brushing against his skin, breathed in his shampoo.

" I'm not sure yet. Probably nothing. Let's just head out, and I'll check this over later." Derek frowned, nodded, tightened his arms around Luna, and went to follow Stiles, when Melissa appeared on the other end of the hallway.

" Melissa," Everything about Stiles unclenched, relief easing it all away, as he walked towards her instead, " Is everything okay? Where is everybody?" But a sound of utter despair fell past her lips, her figure stumbled, almost fell, and Stiles stopped, took his pistol out and aimed, almost instinctively.

A man appeared behind her, so pale, he could have melted into the walls around them, could have hidden long enough for Stiles to leave, to not attempt to stop him, stop all of it. His clothes were disheveled, like they weren't his, they didn't really fit right. Tears were dissolving into the blood running down his skin, and Stiles couldn't tell what it was he was bleeding out, but it couldn't have been good. Nothing about this felt good.

" Melissa, are you okay? Are you hurt?"

" I'm fine, Stiles. This gentleman here is, too. He isn't doing anything, right? He just wants to talk." He had a gun in one hand, the other holding Melissa by the shoulder, both of them shaking. It didn't look like talking to Stiles.

" Alright, Melissa should go back to work then. We can sit and talk, together. No one needs to get hurt."

" I need her. I need help."

" Why do you have a gun then? This is a hospital, you just ask for help, and they will give it."

" They won't do it. Won't help me. They, they're going to let me die too. They killed my daughter and now they want to kill me."

" I'm sorry, about your daughter. But I'm sure they'll do what they can. Why don't you put this gun down, and we can talk this through? This is only making things worse." Stiles inched closer. Derek circled his fingers around his arm, pulled him back.

" I can't do that. I can't- they let my daughter die. They killed my baby." Stiles winced, feeling the familiar ache of grief flaring in his chest, as he put his hands in the air, announcing his surrender.

" Melissa, do you know what is wrong with this gentleman? What you can do to help?"

" He- it's a zoonotic disease, and- I- his daughter was – " Melissa looked so close to breaking, so willing.

" Hey, hey, Melissa, eyes on me, okay? Breathe. Everything is going to be okay. I'm right here with you. Just, talk to me, okay? Only me." She looked between his eyes, remembering how they looked all those years ago, how they always looked at her the same. She nodded, breathed, then tried to steady the words as she willed them out.

" His daughter was asthmatic. Severely so. She was brought in, days after she started showing symptoms of breathlessness, fever, and general weakness. She was put on an oxygen mask, went through some sessions to open up her lungs, and it seemed to be working, so, she was sent home."

" Alright, then what? What were we missing?"

" When patients come in, they're asked all those questions, it's procedural. He didn't tell us his daughter had been traveling with her mother, and,"

" I didn't know. I was on a business trip and she was staying with her mother. I didn't know they went to Africa. And she didn't say anything because her mother made her promise, she didn't want me to get mad. I didn't **_know_**." The man's face fell, misery contorting his features, before it reformed into rage; blind, unreasonable, anger, and he shoved at Melissa, until she almost fell. Stiles was there though, moving in to catch her, before she hit the ground.

" Stiles, it's contagious. He made me perform an autopsy on his daughter's body, and that's the only way Anthrax can be transferred between people." Melissa whispered into his chest, hiding it behind panted breathing and frantic attempts to calm down, to be reassured. Stiles shuddered, threw a hand behind him, and pushed at Derek, putting some distance between them. Like they needed any more of that. But Stiles knew enough about this to know that open-wounds were access points to diseases in general, and since Derek came in with a broken nose, he figured he should be at least safe. 

" There are patients here on this floor, they have nothing to do with this. Let me lock us down, shut down this section of the hospital, and try to contain this."

" Why should I? If I'm dead anyway," The man shrugged, defeat carving him out, making a home of him, of what was left of him.

" You don't have to be. Listen, I'm not going to leave this place, until we've figured out what's wrong with you, okay? Just let these people go. This is a safety hazard that we can't afford to let happen. So, I'm going to put my gun away, walk towards that desk, and speak into the microphone. Then, we'll let them out, close ourselves in here, and figure this out, alright? I have some medical experience, I'm all you need, so just let the rest of them go."

" Stiles," Melissa whispered, eyes wide and accusing, her head moving into something like a shake, denial so blatant, so clear.

" It's fine. We're going to be just fine, right? What's your name? I'm Stiles. Stilinski."

" I thought Stilinski was an old man. The sheriff."

" He's my father. He was the sheriff until he retired, I took over after."

" You're Stilinski's son? You, you did this too. You're just as bad as the rest of them." He was waving his gun between Melissa and Stiles, eyes unfocused, almost maniac, as Stiles stepped in front of Melissa, wrapped his arms around her, to keep her from moving around him.

" Woah, woah, what did we say about that gun? Let's be reasonable here, okay? Nobody wants to hurt you."

" Stiles." Derek spoke, urgent and pleading and – oh, he was still there too. With the man losing his mind, wanting to set the world on fire and burn with it. But Derek had done his fair share of burning, had watched things burn and almost burned along. He shouldn't be there. Stiles couldn't handle him being there for this.

" I've got it under control, just stay behind." Stiles whispered under his breath, eyes never flickering away from the man still looking like he could shoot them all, and then himself.

" I called an ambulance for her, you know, the night she- she died. Said they were at the sheriff's house, that they couldn't take two patients at the same time. Protocol or something. And, by the time another ambulance was available to pick us up, she was seizing, and too unstable to transfer. What, just because he's the sheriff, then his life is worth more than hers? He deserved to live, but she didn't?"

" **_Stiles_** ," This was bad. Very bad, and Derek didn't know how to just drag Stiles away from all of this, without seeming like he didn't trust his judgment, his ability to protect himself, although he'd been doing it for years now, ever since Derek stopped wanting to.

" What, Derek? Whatever it is, it's not the fucking time."

" I don't think he really wants to shoot anyone, I don't think he's going to do it. So let's just jump him, take the gun, and get out of here." And oh, was Stiles immediately vibrating with fury, clinging to any spec of control he had, to keep from punching Derek, or tearing through him, until the pieces of him were small enough to not make Stiles feel so overwhelmed, so scrutinized all the time.

" This is my job. It's not supernatural, not werewolves or kanimas or darachs. This is my territory now, and you can't come in here and invalidate that, okay? I won't allow it. So, I'd suggest you **_shut up_** , and let me handle this." Stiles turned away from Derek before his frustration morphed into something else, something softer and more needy.

" What’s your name? I can't keep talking to you without at least knowing that."

" Blake. Blake Patterson."

" Okay, Blake. No, my dad's life isn't more important than anyone's. His call probably came in a few seconds before yours, that's it."

" My baby was dying." Blake spat it out like it was poisonous against his tongue, like he was disgusted by the ugly face reality wore, every time it taunted him with the loss of his daughter.

" I know. And it's not fair, I get that. If there was anything we could have done for her, we would have. But we didn't have the right information to make a diagnosis fast enough, Blake. And Anthrax is a vicious disease, once it spreads, it's almost unstoppable. We ran out of time, and I'm sorry, Blake. I'm sorry you had to lose her. But there was nothing we could do, okay? What did you do for work? You mentioned a business trip." Stiles started inching closer, hands still held up in the air. Blake's eyes were still mostly unseeing, disconnected.

" I have a programming company. I- it was just one week. I never thought this would happen. But, everything was just so.. fast. I couldn't save her. I- I couldn't – " Stiles signaled behind his back, for them to disperse, scatter, find some place to hide.

" My mother died in the hospital too. I was really young back then, and, it's probably nothing similar to what you're going through, but I was angry too. For a long, long time. And I needed someone to blame, I needed to make sense of it somehow. But this isn’t the way, Blake. She wouldn't have wanted this for you, right?"

" She wouldn't have wanted to die either, but she did. Because of you." Blake pointed his gun at Melissa, halting her steps towards the nurses' counter.

" Hey, hey, Blake, look at me." Stiles waved his arms around, moved across the empty spaces around him, trying to distract Blake away from Melissa, get him to find some other target, another focus point. " I said, look at me. Right here. If something happens to anyone, you'll be dead before you're out of this hospital. You hear me? If you want help, I'll help you. **_Me_**."

" Maybe it should be you then, to make them feel how I felt, how I will always feel, because of **_you_**!"

It all happened so fast, Stiles wasn't quite sure it happened at all. The gun moved from Melissa to Stiles, Derek roared out a _no_ that was so pained, it was almost inhuman, like no human being could bare that kind of pain. Stiles hit Blake's elbow, took his arm and tried to snatch the gun away, but he kicked and he thrashed and he twirled until he had Stiles' bad shoulder in his grasp. He twisted it, tearing it further away from his chest, until it crunched, cracked, came apart. Stiles screamed then, without meaning to, but it hurt like all hell, and he couldn't have kept it in, if he wanted to.

Melissa was calling things into the microphone. Derek was turning Luna away from it all. Then, Blake had a bloody scalpel through Stiles' abdomen, and he didn't want to get his own gun out because he didn't want to kill him. Didn't want to hurt a man, already withering away, fading past all extremes, deforming into something like a living dead, wearing his loss on his sleeves, a kind of _look what you've done to me_ that felt more like a _fuck you_.

All that had sped up like it was trying to outrun Stiles, rush past him in a blur that he wouldn't quite notice, it all came to a halt, crashing on top of one another, then onto him, like a fallen house of cards, a game of domino's gone horribly wrong, because Derek - Derek was collapsing to his knees, so agonizingly slow, it could have been theatrical, if it wasn't something right out of Stiles' worst nightmares. His eyes were wide, horrified, like he still couldn't understand what had happened, couldn't understand why there was this ache around his chest area, why he suddenly couldn't breathe, couldn't grasp at anything for the life of him. It felt like he was coming apart at the seams, unraveling into.. well, nothing. When his knees, hit the ground, he folded onto himself, fell to his side with a deafening thud. Stiles almost saw the dust rising around him, burying him under, almost felt the ground shake a little beneath him. It could have just been his legs, there was no way of telling. He just felt this bottomless pit in his stomach, gravity coaxing him into his own collapse, he'd lay next to Derek and the world would fold around them, bury them under the ruins of their lives, and they would die together, wouldn't **_that_** be something?

As unhinged as Stiles felt, he pushed his elbow back into Blake's chest, didn't wait for the startle of his breath, before he was turning, taking the gun that had shot Derek down, wanting to kind of shoot him too, watch his fall and see if it'd feel the same as Derek's. It probably wouldn't, after all, he hadn't spent most his life in love with Blake and terrified of it. He brought the heel of the gun to Blake's nose, and he staggered away, hands around his now bloody face, so Stiles jumped, threw both his legs into Blake's chest, until he hit the wall, fell into a heap on the floor, unconscious. Stiles took out his handcuffs, one around Blake's hand, the other on the pole attached to the wall. He took away the gun and the scalpel and anything he could use to kill something else in them.

He started moving towards Derek, almost having to drag his legs behind him, kind of coming apart. He threw away his gun and badge, disconnected his radio and threw that away too, shedding layers of himself, feeling heavy and loaded, like he could just **_burst_**. He fell to his knees by Derek's shoulder, his hands hovering – shaking around him, uncertain, and so, so scared. Stiles had seen a lot of people get shot in his time, he could handle blood and flush and gore, but for some reason, this was different. He'd never associated all those things with Derek, or at least, he'd learned to stop. It looked all wrong on him. His blood seeping through Stiles' clothes, coating his skin, and drying like it was going to stay, even when he didn't, made Stiles feel like he was the one killing him. Like, maybe he was Derek's reaper, and the hands he had on his chest were forcing the little air he had left, out. Maybe his fingers were forming into a grip with just enough space for Derek's neck to fit between, before they squeezed the life out of him. Maybe all this trembling was Derek's life leaving him and not – not Stiles feeling sixteen again, watching one of his friends die, falling in a kind of love that he couldn't comprehend, couldn't contain.

" Okay, okay. Is, Luna, are you okay, sweetheart, huh?" Stiles angled his head away from Derek, eyes falling onto Luna, sitting by his feet, his blood splattered on her, and it kind of broke Stiles' heart, that after all this time, after being safe for so long, a few minutes with Stiles, and he was bleeding on the floor again. Maybe that was why he'd let him leave before. Maybe he never should have let himself near, he just – he couldn't help it. He never really could when it came to Derek.

" Melissa, call CCT, you need to get checked over. Find us an empty OR, Derek needs help, right now." She nodded, looking like she'd been crying, or like she really wanted to.

" Hey, Luna, he's okay, don't worry, kiddo, just focus on me, alright? I'll keep him safe for you, we'll get him all better, just, look at me, right here." Stiles' forehead fell against Luna's, her small hands rubbing against each other, twitching nervously, but her eyes remained on him, even after his had fallen shut.

Nurses filed in, wanting to take him away, dressed in precautionary safe suits. He found the one he recognized, the one who'd stayed with his father when he couldn't, he told her about Luna, made her promise to stay with her. Luna was crying when she waved goodbye, and Stiles didn't know if it was for him or for Derek. God, he hoped it wasn't for Derek. They lifted him off the ground, onto a stretcher, started rolling him into the OR, but Stiles wasn't letting go.

" If I pull out my fingers, and the bullet had hit an artery, he's **_going to_** bleed out. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm going to stay with him until the surgeon is there, then someone can take over." And that was what happened. It took them about fifteen minutes, to get a surgeon prepped. Another fifteen to stabilize Derek enough to operate, and then, a nurse was putting her fingers into his chest, replacing Stiles', and it felt like he was losing Derek all over again.

When he left the OR, nurses were waiting to test him in case of contamination. He had indeed caught it, when Melissa had touched him, or he'd touched her. So, they washed him over, took his clothes away to properly get rid of them, and then hooked him up to an IV, with precautionary antibiotics and painkillers. They re-set his dislocated shoulder, disinfected his abdomen wounds that weren't deep enough for stitches, then he was on his way.

Melissa was waiting for him when he came out, in different clothes and wet hair, crashing into his chest, as he circled his good arm around her, holding her back, breathing her in, trying to filter through all the hospital smells, to find her own. His father was there too, worried and restless. It seemed like a permanent state for him now. He hugged Stiles too, whispering prayers under his breath, then cursing out whoever had done this to him. Stiles wished he could find the breath to laugh, but things weren't functioning properly yet, so he squeezed his father, before releasing him.

" Where is Blake now?" His father groaned, always so protective, so emotive.

" They're treating him, apparently. We have three deputies with him, he's not going anywhere."

" I don't think he's going to want to. Did they find out what's wrong with him?"

" A mild case of Pneumonia. He should be fine."

" Wait, what? Pneumonia? So he didn't get infected too? He's going to get better?" Melissa nodded, almost solemn, although Stiles knew, she'd never wish this upon anyone. She'd never stop trying to save people's lives, even if they didn't quite deserve it.

" Wow. That's.. something." He felt things hitting against his chest, crawling up his throat, poking all his sensitive spots, willing some kind of acknowledgment out of him, needing him to prove that they were all there, but he couldn't afford to think about any of it, couldn't let himself feel it yet, so he took the radio and badge and gun his father offered, tried to put them back into place, but it didn't really work with one arm, so his dad helped.

" Is Milo okay?"

" He's fine. With Scott and the kids, which is why he's not here, by the way. Melissa told him that it wouldn't be safe for the kids."

" Yeah, no, definitely. I'm going to call him later, just need things to die down a bit first."

" You're not coming?" Melissa asked, still visibly shaken to her core.

" No, I can't yet. I'm going to wait till Derek is out of surgery, then, I need to go down to the station, get things in order. You two go ahead though."

" I'm going to drive her home, then head to the station and wait for you."

" Dad, no, come on, you don't have to, I'll call if I need anything,"

" It was my precinct before it was yours, by the way. Don't go all tough-sheriff on me, it's not going to work."

" When has it ever with you?" Stiles rolled his eyes, sighed, but smiled when his father leaned in for another hug, before he wrapped his arms around Melissa's frail body, guiding her out of the hospital.

 

~~                                                                                                                                                  
~~

 

 

It took the doctors about an hour to close Derek up and move him to recovery, then another hour until he was stable enough to be transferred to his own room. Stiles was there, playing around with Luna, trying to find some sense of comfort to restrain the panic crawling beneath his skin, brushing against everything, almost taking over. She ended up falling asleep, her head against Stiles' chest, her hands almost crossed in her lap. It was kind of mind-boggling, how much she reminded him of the nights he spent watching Derek sleep too. He always did end up with his head somewhere on Stiles, said something about the sound of his heartbeat and steadiness and comfort and really, how was he ever supposed to deny him that? Deny him anything, really.

Cora kind of crashed into the room, two hours later, looking like she was so close to collapsing too, but Stiles shushed her, pointed at Luna like she was the answer to everything. She probably was. Cora took in her brother, closed her eyes around the sound of his heartbeat, how he didn't smell of blood or decay or – smoke. She fell into the couch next to Stiles, curled into a similar position as her daughter, and they stayed like that for a while, each of them feeling in great need of some kind of grounding force, something to keep them from floating away, disappearing into anything that didn't have to be **_there_**.  

Derek opened his eyes to Stiles' fingers running through Luna's hair, his eyes kindly moving across her features, fascinated, loving. He closed his eyes, felt like it was barely a blink, before he was opening them again, to a bright light causing the pounding headache to flare, spread further down his face. The doctors came and went, reassured them that the bullet was out, and the wound was healing just fine. They didn't mention Stiles or Melissa or anyone, really. Derek didn't know if he had the right to ask, didn't know if he'd lost that too.

" Where's William?" Derek's voice scratched against his throat, left an itch that he could never satisfy.

" The car broke down before we even made it back to Beacon Hills, so I left him with it, and ran the rest of the way here." Derek groaned, lifted his head just enough to see the bandage wrapped around almost his entire torso, before letting his head fall back into the pillow.

" At times like these, I wonder if I made the right choice by giving up those alpha powers for you. I can't believe that asshole actually shot me. God, how do humans **_do_** this? It sucks, everything hurts. Have I already said that? Doesn't matter, it's still true, being human **_sucks_**." Cora laughed, throwing her head back, her muscles tightening around the sweet, sweet feeling.

" How high **_are_** you right now?" Derek frowned, contemplative, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to chew on something, swallow it away but it wasn't going down right.

" Don't know actually. I have this weird taste in my mouth, am I going to die? Because it kind of feels like I am, I'm pretty sure only death would hurt like this." Cora shook her head, easing Luna's resting figure away from her lap, and standing by her brother's bedside, running her fingers through his hair. He hummed in contentment, his eyes taking too long to blink, still too heavy to peel open all on his own.

" You're not going to die, no. It was a pretty stupid thing you did out there, but the guy had shit aim, so you're going to be just fine." Panic was slowly clearing away, leaving room for her heart to expand with the crashing relief that her brother was still there, wasn't leaving her too. She leaned down, put her lips to his forehead, and just stayed there, drinking him in, missing him and loving him and fearing for him all at once. 

" He was going to hurt Stiles. I didn't think. Stiles was.. he was here, right? I think I saw him here, with Luna. I wasn't dreaming him, was I?"

" No, you weren't. He was here, stayed with Luna until I got here, and you woke up and got checked over. Once they told us everything was okay, he took off, went back to work."

" So he's okay? Melissa too?" Derek's head tilted towards Cora, eyes pleading, scared in ways he hadn't allowed them to be in a long time.

" They were both infected," His eyes widened, body immediately feeling the need to flee, to comfort, but Cora had her hands on his shoulders, pushing him down a little, " Calm down, they're fine. They cleared them both up, gave them some precautionary antibiotics, fixed Stiles' shoulder and all his other little wounds, and they were on their way. Stiles still had his IV hooked in though, his arm in a sling, poor guy. But he seemed to be pretty adamant about going back to work, being the sheriff and all, so."

" That is.. crazy. He's the sheriff. He has a son. A **_son_** , Cora. How is that possible?"

" Well, technically, I have a daughter too, Scott has twins, it happens, Derek. It's been **_fifteen_** years, if anything, not enough had changed about him, and this place." Derek nodded, sighed, let his eyes close again and didn't bother with reopening them.

" It's funny, when I saw him today, it felt like I'd only left him yesterday. Like, it'd been seconds. Sure, he looked different, but everything else about him was just.. familiar. It felt like hitting home-base, like I'd only **_just_** come home."

" Yeah. I know what you mean, Derek. Get some sleep."

" Is it normal, to still feel like this, after all this time? Everything else changed, so why – why do I feel nineteen again; in love and stubborn and so fucking angry, all the time? Why am I so in love with him, Cora? God. I love him. Why have I never told him that before? What could have possibly been worse than losing him for fifteen years, coming back to a life that doesn't care for me, so full already, with no spaces for me to fill, nowhere for me to squeeze myself into? What was I so scared of?" He was already falling asleep, Cora could tell, but Stiles wasn't leaving him. It felt like maybe he never had.

" You're always scared, Derek, ever since.. you know, everything happened, you've just been in a constant state of fear, of life and death and pain. Of yourself and other people, just – everything. And it's exhausting. But you get to be scared, Derek, you have every right to be, but maybe your fear of losing him should have outweighed your fear of telling him. Maybe you should have pushed yourself a bit, opened yourself up and for once, treated him with a little bit of honesty. If he was this in love with the closed-off-asshole version of you, imagine how crazy he would have been about the actual person beneath all that. It would have been something." Cora couldn't stop herself from talking once she'd started, it was all pouring out of her. It'd been years, and she wouldn't have trusted herself to say any of it, if he wasn't too out of it to respond, and she wasn't still high on emotional distress and good old fashioned terror. Derek was already quiet, almost unresponsive, so she figured he'd fallen back asleep and wouldn't know about any of this.

" Being human sucks." Derek groaned into the silence, after a beat too long. Cora laughed, planted another kiss to his forehead.

" You are so incredibly high right now, you're going to **_hate_** yourself for all of this later."

 

~~~~

 

Stiles' dad was kind of driving him mad. He was hovering around him at the station, fussing and worrying and Stiles loved the man, he really did, but he couldn't keep up with him, couldn't focus with him fixing the sliding sling or unbuttoning his shirt to give him room to breathe and then buttoning it up again because it made him look less professional. It was just, too much. He was a thirty-two year old man for Christ's sake, he didn't need to be babied anymore, especially at his place of work. So when Scott came by, late into the night after the kids had been put to bed and his mother had settled down a bit, Stiles had clung to him, told him he needed to use the bathroom and that _no, dad, I don't need help with that one little thing, Scott will be with me and we're literally right through the door_ , and that was that.

" Alright, man, do you need me to unzip your pants for you, or,"

" What the fuck, Scott? **_No_** , I don't want you to go anywhere near my pants." Stiles swatted at the hands Scott was reaching out, holding his pants up with his single functioning hand.

" Then why are we in the bathroom?"

" Because my dad is driving me mad and I'm barely keeping it together? Aren't you a werewolf? Shouldn't you be able to smell it on me or something? I swear to God, Scott, you're hopeless."

" Hey, give me a break, dude, it's been a long day."

" Yeah, tell me about it." Stiles sighed, turning the tap on and putting his hand beneath the water, still feeling Derek's blood tainting his skin with something horrible and unkind.

" Plus, how do you expect my senses to still be working when all I smell nowadays is babies' feces and thrown up formula? You're lucky I changed out of my soiled pants before coming down here, that's commitment." Stiles let out something, between a cough and a laugh.

" No commitment when it comes to the shirt though, I see." Scott looked down, at the dried smudge of something by his collar.

" Oh. How do you even notice these things?"

" It's my job now, Scott, remember?" Scott grinned, all proud and excitable, like he always was.

" Okay, fair enough. So, are you okay? Mum wouldn't stop following me around the house, she was actually worse than the babies, so I'm guessing it's pretty bad for you too?"

" I mean, it was a lot. Like.. **_a lot_**. But I'm fine. Everyone made it out okay, that's what matters." Scott's hand fell around Stiles' shoulder, a leveling touch, that he found himself so grateful for.

" From what I heard, you did pretty fucking awesome out there, man. You saved a lot of lives, and didn't even kill the dude who started all of this. That takes some courage, unbelievable restrain, and you did that. I'm proud of you, Stiles." Stiles turned to smile, return the favor somehow, but then his dad was knocking on the bathroom door, asking why it was taking him so long, and Stiles had **_enough_**.

" That's **_it_** , dad," Stiles threw the door opened, frowned at his startled, flushed father.

" Would you like one of the deputies to drive you home, or would you prefer finding your own way?"

" Oh I'm not leaving yet, I was just checking up on you," The sheriff went to elaborate, argue, but he caught his son's grim expression, the color intensifying around his face. He could kind of see his ears starting to smoke a little.

" Fine. I'll find my own way home. But Scott has to stay with you at least till you don't need the IV drip anymore."

" Don't worry, I'm staying with him until it's school time for Milo, because I promised to take him myself." John nodded, seemingly more at ease now, as he leaned in, held his son in a hug that was probably too long for it to be acceptable, but he held him back, knowing how worried he still had to be, until John was willing to detach himself, pulling Scott into a similar hug, before walking away.

" Alright, now, let's get you back to your office, and then you can tell me all about what happened." Scott circled his arms around Stiles' waist, held him with a bit of grace, slowing his pace at the nauseating scent of pain coming off him. When they made it back to the office, Stiles fell into his chair, Scott made sure his IV was still unblocked, wiping the layers of sweat forming across his face, before sitting down on the couch, patient and caring and open. So, Stiles told him everything, sparing no details, because why would he? Scott was his person, always had been, and he loved him something stupid. Scott just silently listened, nodding when he thought Stiles was losing track of his thoughts, audibly humming when Stiles started looking far away.

" Okay, let me ask you this, do you want something with him? Still?" Scott leaned forward, resting his elbows against his knees, a serious expression across his features, and it made Stiles feel a little cornered, like maybe he'd done something wrong.

" Woah, dude, don't hurt yourself thinking about this." Scott laughed, stood away from the couch and sat on the chairs by Stiles' desk instead.

" I have a kid, Scott. And a job, and, this all feels so.. childlike. I'm not having a midlife crisis, am I?" Scott snorted, shook his head.

" Your whole life is basically one extended crisis, Stiles, I'm pretty sure this isn't that." Stiles groaned, threw his head over the back of his chair.

" Time is just never in our favor. It's.. fine. I should get back to work, you're staying?" Stiles stood, removed the IV from his hand once it was empty. Scott nodded, smiled like he had, back when they were both young and unaware, and Stiles had to remember to tell him how thankful he was for his consistent presence. Had to find the words, the voice, the breath. He thought he'd work on it, he'd get it right eventually, just.. not now.

 

When Derek woke up that night, Stiles' father was sleeping on the couch in his hospital room. He kind of thought he was still high, thought he was seeing things, but then he stirred awake, smiled when he saw that Derek was alert and responsive, and really, how was Derek supposed to not smile back? They talked like time hadn't passed at all, like Derek was still what he was to him, and the feeling felt like a cushioned kind of fall, like he was crashing into a more wholesome version of himself, like he was coming together instead of apart, and it had been so long – too long, since anything felt the way this did.

" Stiles told me about the little one, Luna, is it?"

" Yeah, she's probably going to be the end of me, but I love her, she's the best." John laughed, understanding easing the motion of his head into a nod.

" I know the feeling. I thought Stiles took all the love I could possibly muster up, but then he adopted Milo, and,"

" Wait, he's adopted? I thought – I mean, I thought he was Stiles' biological son, with, like, a partner."

" No, no, Stiles only had one relationship, since you, and – don't act so surprised, I could still **_see_** back then, Stiles didn't need to tell me anything, it was all over both of your faces." Derek could feel his cheeks starting to heat, but John only looked welcoming, kind.

" So, that relationship was with Lydia, it lasted two years, and by the end of it, they were both so drained, neither of them could fight for the other any longer. So, they broke up, Lydia went away for college, and hasn't come back since, except for Christmases really. After that, it was just, dates for Stiles, until he found Milo, and even those became less frequent."

" Where did he find him?"

" He was left in front of the station. He was less than a week old, hypothermic, too weak to even cry out. I'll never know how someone could ever do that to their flush and blood, I'll never understand that. Stiles drove him to the hospital, called me that same day, half out of his mind and told me he was going to bring him home. Being the son of the sheriff had its perks, and everyone loves Stiles anyway, so the process was quite smooth, and before he was even 6-months-old, he was officially Stiles'."

" Wow, and, no one came for him since? Like, nobody heard from his parents, or family?"

" The adoption was low-key, meaning that no one can really find out who Milo was or who ended up with him. But, before Stiles went through with it, he put the word out that Milo was okay and waiting for someone to take him in. He looked through hospital records, for mothers who'd recently given birth, but whoever had Milo, didn't do anything by the book. It broke Stiles' heart, that. But he's a better parent than I could have ever hoped for him to be, and the kid is crazy about him. So, things worked out after all."

" This is just.. great. What, can he hold a perfect note and fly spaceships too?"

" What?" John blinked, chuckled.

" It's just, too much. It's not fair. He's like.. **_perfect_**. What do you do with people like him? How can you possibly compete with all that?"

" My son isn't perfect. He comes pretty close, as close as they can get, but he's not perfect. He's not supposed to be, and neither are you." The sheriff stood, laid a hand on Derek's shoulder and held on.

" Thank you. For saving them both. I, I owe you." Derek lifted his hand, let it drop on top of the sheriff's.

" You don't owe me anything, sheriff. I would do anything for any of you." John smiled, looked like he could cry, as he leaned down, planting a kiss into Derek's hair. Derek thought if he closed his eyes tight enough, if he just – tried, it'd feel like maybe he'd never lost his own father, he'd never lost anyone at all.

" I know, Derek. I know you would. Good man."

John left after telling Derek to bring Luna over some time, to get to know Milo as well. He didn't mention Stiles, didn't need to, because somehow, Derek knew Stiles wouldn't be there. And he wasn't. It took Derek three days to leave the hospital, then another week to be able to move without feeling like his chest was tearing open. And Stiles never came to visit, sent one of his deputies to take Derek's statement, with a basket of chocolate and a card with a pre-printed message to get well soon. Derek didn't know what he expected, or what he hoped would happen, but it wasn't… this. He still stopped Cora from asking Stiles about it, went to the sheriff's house with Luna and helped him cook lunch, never once mentioning Stiles' escapism, or how Milo acted so much like him sometimes, it was almost impossible not to miss him.

Scott visited too, bringing his own kids over, and seeing Scott as a father was such a trip for Derek. It blew his mind a little, to see him in action, but it was all love and protection and warmth, and he thought that Scott was always built to lead, to foster and keep safe and guide, and he did just that. He always had. But when Scott announced that he would take Milo to Stiles at the station, Derek couldn't stop himself from volunteering. Scott and John regarded him with an amused hesitance, before Scott shrugged, gave Milo's little bag over, and said he'd stay with John to watch the rest of the kids until everyone was back.

Milo was as curious as Stiles had always been; asking questions about space and time and life. He asked about Luna, what she was, whether or not she was adopted too. Derek remained collected, welcoming, until Milo started asking about falling in love and that sent all the warning signals flaring in Derek's head. It didn't take him long to lose that train of thought, moving onto that one girl with him in class, that he wasn't as disgusted by as he was by most girls. Derek didn't have much time to move past his initial shock and think of a grown-up thing to say to Milo, before he was pushing into the station, running past the groaning, sweaty deputies, and into Stiles' awaiting arms. A chorus of _thank god_ and _about fucking time_ echoed through the rather steamy atmosphere, as Stiles closed his eyes, holding his son to his chest like a shield.

" Alright, everybody, take five." Stiles announced, planting a kiss to Milo's cheek, before putting him down, completely unaware of Derek.

" Stiles, we've been at it for hours, most of these people aren't even supposed to be on-shift right now, haven't you let off enough steam?" Parrish spoke, out of breath and clearly in some kind of pain.

" I'm not doing it to let off steam. The team is a mess, we're out of shape, and,"

" And you're still pissed off and wrongly emoting, I get it. Call us back when you need us." Parrish rolled his eyes, walked away with a head shake. Stiles whispered an _unbelievable_ , turning back towards the expectant Milo.

" Dad, why aren't you wearing your sling? You're going to make your arm worse."

" It's uncomfortable, kiddo, and it barely hurts anymore, I'm fine."

" No, you're not. Put it on, or I'll tell grandma Mel on you."

" You wouldn't." Stiles gasped, put his arm through the sling that Milo was holding out anyway.

" You know I would. You're the one who said we shouldn't fool around when it comes to our health."

" Did you just call me a fool? I'm supposed to be the parent here, Milo."

" Yeah, well, you should start acting like it." Milo crossed his arms against his chest, tapped his feet impatiently, and Derek couldn't help but laugh, high-fiving Milo, who spared him a grin, before frowning again at Stiles.

" I let you spend too much time with your grandfather, get the hell out of here, go find Parrish, but don't go too far, okay? And don't be too long, I miss you, and I want to see more of you before you head home." Milo's features softened, his arms circled around Stiles' waist.

" I miss you too, and I just want you to be okay. You said we take care of each other, right?"

" Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry, I won't take it off again. I love you."

" Love you too, dad. I'm going to find uncle Parrish now."

" Yeah, you do that. Tell him we're done training for today too, everyone who's not on-shift can go home." Stiles left a kiss on top of Milo's head, watching him run to the locker rooms, before turning to face Derek, acknowledging his presence for the first time, in weeks it seemed.

" How, uh, how are you?" Stiles grimaced like he was tasting something sour. Derek tried not to think of the taste his name left behind, if it crumbled his face like that too.

" I'm good, yeah, better." Derek cleared his throat, nodded, his fingers involuntarily falling onto the healing hole in his chest.

" Good. That's, yeah, that's great. I – I wanted to come see you, but,"

" No, you didn't." Stiles startled, stared at Derek with shame tainting the utter shock spreading across his features. Derek smiled, understandingly, knowingly.

" No, I didn't." Stiles shook his head, sighed, his eyes running away from Derek's.

" I had an.. interesting conversation with Milo on our way here."

" Most of his conversations usually are. What was it about this time?" Something eased in Stiles, the mention of his son a safety blanket he was craving.

" Love, and girls, and whatnot."

" Wait, what? He's **_four_** , I thought I had at least a decade to prepare for this." Derek laughed, Stiles kind of did too.

" Nope, as impatient as his father, I guess."

" Well, to be fair, I didn't fall in love until I was maybe sixteen or so. Not really." Stiles put a hand to his neck, rubbed it raw. Derek didn't know if he'd ever find the words to say to that, didn't know if his voice could give them the certainty he needed.

" Yeah, uh, I hope he has better luck with that, than the two of us." The inclusion in Derek's tone snapped something in Stiles, awakened his need to flee, to get away. Things started to shut down, retreat, as he moved away from Derek.  

" I should probably get back to work, thank you for dropping him by, I – "

" Stiles,"

" Thank you for all your help, with the case too, and I'm sorry you got hurt, I – it never should have happened, and,"

" Jesus, Stiles, would you stop? That wasn't your fault."

" Yes, it was. This is my job, Derek. I'm the sheriff of this town, and I'm supposed to protect its people, and I let him hurt you. You could have **_died_**. Fuck, a few minutes with me and you were shot, no wonder you left when you did."

" I didn't leave because I was afraid of you. You – you know why I left. You know what was happening back then, and how – how terrified I was, of feeling anything at all. And you were the epitome of feeling, you feel **_so much_** , so fucking deeply, and I – I didn't know if you felt any of it, for me, you know."

" You can't be serious." Derek shrugged, looking at the hands he had around Stiles' arms, wondering if they'd let go this time too. They didn't. He didn't want them to.

" How – Jesus Christ, Derek, how fucking oblivious **_are_** you? **_Of course_** I felt things for you. I felt every fucking thing for you. How do you still not know that? What, did you need me to spell it out for you? Tell you that –"

" I loved you too."

" What?" Derek wondered what he'd smell on Stiles if he could still do that. He wondered how his heartbeat sounded now.

" I was so in love with you back then. I'm still, so fucking in love with you now. And – I know it's been fifteen years, and we're different people, but, **_that's_** not different. I don't know if it will ever be. I think.. Stiles, I think I'm more in love with you now, than I was then, and that's insane, because I – I don't know if I even believe in love at all, but I believe that this is what it is. I believe in you, and me, and what I've been feeling since the day you drove me around town and did everything you could to save a person that caused you nothing but trouble. I believe in that, Stiles, and,"

" Derek, stop. This is – **_stop_**. You – you can't say this to me now. I have a son. I'm a working, single, parent and – you can't – you can't tell me all of this and then, leave. That's fucked up. I can't do anything about it, or, about you, and I – I don't want to hear this if it's not going to matter. I don't care how much of this you're feeling, or how long it's been going on, because he's always going to come first, and I'll be damned if I let you into his life, only to walk out on him too. I – I won't put him through this, Derek, you're not going to do this to him. I won't let you." Stiles was so forceful, desperate, as he pushed against Derek, trying to get away. Derek's figure gave in under the consistent pressure, releasing Stiles, and staggering away.

" I'm not leaving, Stiles. If you – if you just give me one more chance,"

" One more chance?" Stiles laughed, hollow and bitter, " Why should I? What do I owe you, to put myself through this again? And what for? Because you're in love with me? So what? I've been in love with you for years, and you never gave a fuck. It never counted for anything, so why should this? Give me **_one_** reason why I shouldn't chase you right back out of this town, Derek." Stiles was circling around Derek like he was his prey. Like he was closing in on him, willing to pounce.

" Because I came back for you."

" **_Bullshit_**. You came back because your sister had a baby, and she wanted to go back to her roots, build a home for her daughter. It had nothing to do with me."

" I'm not talking about this, Stiles. I – I came back the night of your graduation. And that time your dad had his second heart attack. I came back for Allison's funeral, and,"

" No, you didn't. Why – why would you lie about something like that?"

" I wouldn't. I wouldn't lie to you. You're a sheriff now, aren't you? You know how to do this, how to tell when someone is lying. So, am I lying to you, Stiles? Am I showing any of the signs?" Derek had his hands in the air, an angry scowl on his lips, like he despised them for betraying him, for letting Stiles go. Stiles looked between Derek's eyes, wanting **_so_** badly to believe him, to just, give his heart away and trust all its pieces to remain where he left them.

" I need to get back to work. I – we don't get to do this, Derek. We're not kids anymore. So, I appreciate all you did, for me, and Melissa, and my son, but. That's it. That's all we get. Take care, tell Cora I said hi. See you around, Derek."

 

~~~~

 

Derek left that day, so willing to let go of Stiles, to give up on that silly thought of being loved by him again, but it seemed like they couldn't get away from each other. Stiles was suddenly almost always running into him; at the store, during his late-night patrols, picking his son up from school although Derek didn't even have anyone that went to school yet. They were orbiting around each other, acknowledging the existence of the other less and less, until Derek was walking out of the hospital a month later after a check-up on his non-infected stitches, and Stiles was pacing the floor, hands trembling despite their grip on his hair. And Derek didn't know how to walk away from that, from him, so he didn't. Stiles groaned when he saw him, said something under his breath like _of course he's here too, he's fucking everywhere,_ but he looked away before Derek could take in the worry lines around his red-rimmed eyes.

" What are you doing here? Is everybody okay?"

" It's fine, Derek, I've got it under control." He didn't. He didn't have any idea how to get it back under control.

" Stiles," Melissa appeared through the doors before he could question him further, spreading out her hand that held three pills, a half-empty glass of water in the other, offering them silently to Stiles.

" What, Melissa? Listen, what's going on in there? Is he okay?"

" You forgot your ADHD and anxiety pills for the day, and you're a mess right now, so take your pills, then we'll talk." Derek had forgotten all about that flailing, unsteady version of Stiles, since he seemed so unfazed these days, so unbothered by it all. It reminded him of how things used to weigh on him, settle between his bones and tear at his nerves.

Stiles obliged with another groan, swallowing the pills with a gulp of water, before looking back at Melissa, almost vibrating with impatience.

" Okay, so, you were right, his tonsils are so swollen, they're almost closing up his throat. They're prepping him for a tonsillectomy, and – hey, kiddo, this is standard procedure, they can do it in their sleep, okay? All of you kids had it anyway."

" Yeah, but this is **_my_** kid, Melissa. He must be so scared right now, can I see him?" Stiles looked like he was about to cry if Melissa denied his request, throw a proper fit until she yielded.

" I'm afraid they already put him to sleep, Stiles, to help with the pain. Don't worry, he was more excited about all the ice-cream he's going to get, to be worried about any of it. He'll be out of there in no time, you just hang tight." Stiles nodded, allowing himself to awkwardly settle between Melissa's arms, before she released him, smiling reassuringly.

" Do you want me to be in there with him?"

" Yes, please."

" But I don't want you to be by yourself, at least until John or Scott can get here, and,"

" It's okay, Melissa, I'll stay." Derek willed his eyes away from Stiles, felt like maybe he would be too intrusive, or, something.

" No, you don't have to, I'm fine, I'll just call Scott or something, this shouldn't take too long anyway."

" If you're about done, I'd like to stay, Melissa."

" Alright, Derek, did they take care of you? Everything is healing up okay?"

" Yeah, everything is fine. Thank you."

" Sure thing. I'm going to head back now, this normally takes around half an hour or so, then an hour in recovery, then he'll be moved to his own room for monitoring. I'll keep you posted, just don't freak yourself out over this, okay? It's no big deal, I promise." Stiles nodded, looked less than convinced.

Melissa started walking away from them, and all of Stiles' threads just.. snapped. He fell into the nearest chair, burying his face into his hands, his legs jumping and falling to hide the general tremble to him. Derek silently settled beside him, deciding that this would somehow be enough for him. Stiles' phone started ringing, he sighed, took it out of his pocket without changing his stance much. Once again, Derek kind of hated how human he now was, because he couldn't eavesdrop at all, and Stiles wasn't giving him much of anything.

" _Yes, Scott. No, he's in surgery now. I was showering after my shift when the school called, said he was feverish and kind of breathless. Melissa says it's his tonsils, so they should be out of surgery soon. Yeah, I know. I know, man, it's just – it kind of scared me shitless. He's always trying to act all tough, but he was just, out of it, man. I would have started crying if he wasn't already freaked out. Yeah, no, it could have been a lot worse, but, you're a dad now too, so you know. He's my baby, and seeing him in pain is always going to suck. Yes, I took my meds. No, no, there's no need, your mum is here, and – Derek is staying with me till they're out. No, of course, I didn't call to tell him, what the hell? Dude. Don't you have kids to raise or something? Yeah, okay, hanging up now. Bye, Scott_."

Something about Stiles softened, as he put his phone away, tilting his head just enough to eye Derek, smiling at him almost hesitantly.

" Sorry about that."

" It's okay." Derek shrugged, smiled back.

" Is everything really healing up? Like, you're okay?"

" Yeah, I'm fine, it's mainly just precautionary check-ups now."

" Good. That's good. I'm glad." Stiles eased back into his chair, opening his mouth like he finally wanted to talk, but the doors opened, and Milo was still asleep, hooked up to tubes and wrapped in bandages, and the sound that fell out of Stiles' mouth, was almost inhuman. But he was moving, running next to the gurney, touching his son like he might fade away, leave him too.

Melissa told him all went well, guided him to the room that Milo would be transferred to once he'd regained consciousness. Derek felt that itch to be there, to follow, so he did. He ended up sitting silently with Stiles for almost two hours, before John was there, lifting Milo off the gurney and putting him into a hospital bed. Derek started feeling out of place then, like maybe, there was no point of him being there anymore. So, he hugged John and Melissa, told them he was glad Milo was okay. He waved at Stiles, before walking away.

A few days later, Cora was taking some ice-cream to Stiles' house for Milo, so Derek decided to go with her – for Milo's sake, okay? It had absolutely **_nothing_** to do with Stiles. So, they stayed there for a couple of hours, with Luna trying to feed Milo herself, and him being this kind of older brother version of himself that almost melted Stiles' heart. He thanked Derek then, for the hospital, and for, everything, really. It was the first time it'd sounded somewhat genuine, not as bitter. It took Derek almost a week, to stop grinning like an idiot.

Once Milo was all better, he started asking for the Hales more. Most times, Stiles would let his father take him, or sometimes, even Scott, if he was taking his own kids too. But on his very few days off, Milo would insist to be taken by his father, wanting him to spend time with the people he loved, and Stiles rarely was able to deny that kid anything. So, it got easier, to be around one another, to ease back into something similar to a friendship maybe. Something like, _I might not always be there, but when it really matters, you can always find me, count me in._ And Stiles had always known that to be true, at least in his heart. Derek too. He would hand his life over to Stiles in a heartbeat.

" Oh, Derek, can you get that salad for me? My hands are full."

" Stiles?"

" Yeah?"

" Can you – would you – uh, when is the next day you have off?"

" Thursday? I think, why?"

" Because I want to take you out."

" What?" Stiles started dropping plates, but Cora was quick, ready, as she dived, catching them all, before standing again, looking between a shell-shocked Stiles and an almost green Derek.

" A date. We – I – I would like to take you out on a date. Dinner, and, I don't know, a movie or something? I'm kind of rusty, so I don't know if people still do that, but. If that's okay with you, I – I want to try this out. With you."

" Derek,"

" Just – just say yes, Stiles. I'm trying here. I've **_been_** trying, and I just – I want to know I'm doing **_something_** right. I'm not going to try to fix what happened before, because I can't. I can't take it back, and I'm sorry, okay? I'm always going to be sorry."

" No, you're not listening, I,"

" I've **_been_** listening, and I know I don't deserve this. I know it's been too long and you have this, life, and I don't fit in there as anything more than a friend, if even that, but I can't – I can't not want this, not want you. But if it's a friend or nothing, then, I'll be whatever you need for me to be. I –"

" Dude!" Stiles yelled, interrupting Derek.

" Fucking hell,"

" Dad said a bad word!" Milo exclaimed, seemingly gloating. Luna laughed, enthused.

" My wallet is somewhere by the dinner table, Milo, just take the money and put it in the swear jar." And he did, leaving only Cora behind.

" What I've been trying to say is, I promised Milo to pick him up from school on Thursday, so maybe we should find some kind of early morning or late night activity to do."

" Wait.. is that – you're saying yes?"

" Oh my God, Derek, don't – stop talking. Take these to the table, go on." Cora intervened, pushing the plates onto Derek's still unresponsive arms, before tugging Stiles into a rather aggressive hug.

" About time you came around, Stiles, Jesus. It's all good though, because Scott still owes me fifty bocks."

" You did **_not_** have a bet over this, Cora."

" Oh but we did. And because he backed out from asking you that day at your house, I won, and Scott lost." Stiles scoffed but it turned into a squealing laugh. Cora laughed too, and soon, the kids were circling around them, in an oblivious celebration, and Derek was looking like he was about to faint. And it was perfect, in the most surreal sense of the word.

They ended up going for breakfast, instead of dinner. And when they weren't quite done with one another, Derek tagged along to pick Milo up from school. And drive him home, to his grandfather, who helped him with his homework, because Stiles and Derek went out again, for lunch. Then dinner. Then also, a movie. And when Stiles drove Derek home, post-midnight, he really didn't want to leave the car, because he felt things he didn't know he was capable of feeling, and he kept falling and re-falling and gaining velocity in the way he fell in love with Stiles. But Luna pulled at his leg until he had to stand from the passenger seat, that she then took, to show Stiles the new trick her alpha-mother taught her. She could have gutted him, but she didn't, so it was fine. Stiles still dramatized it though, for a day or two.

Their dates became less of a **_thing_** as the time went on. It was normal for them, to spend almost every waking minute with each other. Milo was kind of in love with Derek anyway, and everyone else had just been carefully coaxing them towards one another. And Stiles was happy, and so fucking in love with Derek, it was ridiculous really. Shameful, almost. But he didn't seem to care, as he kissed him stupid on his mother's twentieth anniversary, then, he clung to Milo until the day went by and he could breathe again.

He couldn't move out of his house because of Milo and his dad. Derek couldn't move out either because of Luna and Cora and the little family they found in each other and literally couldn't bear losing. But most nights were spent together anyway, moving between beds. It was great though; hilarious and full and alive. They had a fucking family. Who knew they'd ever have that again?

 

~~~~

 

 

Stiles was barely out of his bloody jacket after a mostly annoying arrest when Derek rushed into his office, prodding and touching and inspecting for injuries, but it was all pretty minor really, so Stiles put his hand over Derek's, leaned in for a peck because he missed him, before going back to wiping away all the layers of dirt and blood off his skin.

" Sorry about all of this, Derek, you caught us in the middle of regrouping."

" It – it doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're okay, babe."

" Okay, what did we say about you calling me that at work? It **_does_** things to me, Derek, completely ruins the facade."

" You still think people fall for that?"

" Asshole!"

" No, but really, I need to tell you something."

" Oh boy, that doesn't sound good."

" No, no. It's not a bad thing. I don't think so, at least."

" You're not normally the best judge, but sure, what is it?"

" Come here," Derek tugged at Stiles' hand, unbothered by the filthy, wet towel, or how almost completely covered in dirt his uniform was, as he felt the weight of his chest, tangled himself around Stiles, " So.. I filled out this form, that I think you should check over, and sign. Also, approve of."

" What form?" Stiles went to take the piece of paper away from Derek, but he put his hands behind his back, suddenly unsure.

" I want to take the needed exams, go through the proper training, to become a deputy. In this precinct."

" What the hell?" Stiles chuckled nervously, in need of space to take in Derek's expression, calculate the level of seriousness there.

" I'm human now, right? And we don't know if I'm ever going to not be, and that's fine, but I can't help the way I used to, because I don't know how. You do, though. You've been doing it for years now, and you saved more asses than anyone – okay, that came out wrong, shut up – I need to do something useful, and now that I finished my degree and everything with Cora and William is settled, I thought, why not just go for it?"

" You're not.. joking? Like, this is serious?" Derek shook his head, put the form on Stiles' desk, and watched, as his eyes fell on it, curious, eager. And maybe he wasn't so unsure anymore, maybe this was the one right thing he'd done in a long time. Okay, maybe not that long, since he did end up asking Stiles out on a date which would always count for something. Arguably, for everything.

" I'm not. That day at the, at the hospital, it was the first time I'd seen you like this, and – you were so collected and strong despite how crazy the situation was, and, I wanted to drink all of that up, I wanted to just watch you be this – this superior, in-control, badass, sort of - **_entity_** , and I wanted to learn to be more like that. I want you to teach me, Stiles."

" Teach you? Derek, wh – you were a werewolf all your life, raised by Talia who to this day, people still speak of her strength and grace. You were an alpha for Christ sake, what can **_I_** possibly add to you that you don't already know?"

" God, I hate it when you sell yourself short like that." Derek shook his head, clenched and unclenched his fisted palms to keep them from reaching out, shaking some sense into him.

" You taught me **_this_** , right here, Stiles. How to – talk and emote and **_want_**. You taught me how to laugh again, how to try to be something that's been torn out of you, how to live and – love. And – I want you to teach me how to be kind even to those who don't deserve it, how to be firm without being mean, how to be there for everyone and not just – get crushed by the weight of it all. I want to learn how to do this job, but also, how to be **_this_** person. Or at least, something that's deserving of it."

" Deserving of – what? Jesus Christ, Derek." Derek didn't have to reach out, because Stiles was rushing to his side, wrapping his arms around him, like he was trying to make him stay, trying to give him a reason to, this time. Even after Derek stopped needing one. It was funny really, how it felt like all the welcome home signs he'd ever seen, molded into the perfect weight of Stiles' arms around him, that weren't too heavy they'd feel claustrophobic, or too light they'd feel of nothing. They were just right.

" I'm sorry, God, you've got nothing to prove here, okay? You – I trust you, I believe you, I always have. You – I love you, okay? I love you, Derek, and I –"

" Wait, you – you do? You're not just saying that, are you?"

" Of course not, oh my God, I just – I was scared and, angry, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed this hard."

" No, you had every right to not want anything to do with me. I'm just, so fucking glad you finally let me in. I thought I lost you for good and I just – I love you, so much." Stiles lifted his head off Derek's shoulder, a lazy grin across his lips, that he soon brushed against Derek's.

" Took us almost sixteen years but we got there eventually, huh?" Derek laughed right into Stiles' mouth, and he laughed too, his chest vibrating against Derek's.

" Well, to be fair, I did say it earlier, you're the one who decided to be a dick about it."

" Not funny, you asshole." Stiles slapped Derek's chest, but there was nothing to it.

" Do you really want to do this deputy thing?"

" Yes," Derek brushed his nose against Stiles', breathed him in, " Yes, I do."

" And it has nothing to do with today's date, right? It's not some desperate attempt at redemption? Because, I told you, that's all behind us now."

On that day, years and years ago, Derek left, and they were both struggling with – something. They could feel it, the restlessness was heavy today, loud and persistent and haunting.

" I do want to give you something else to remember. I want – I want to make enough good memories with you that it'd feel like nothing bad has ever happened. I just, want to prove to myself, and to you, that I can do this. I can **_stay_** , Stiles. I will."

" I know you will. I believe you." Stiles kissed Derek again, and he could almost taste the doubt dispersing away, trust coating his mouth with something sweet, familiar and missed.

" Okay, okay, if I wasn't the sheriff, we probably would have gotten fired by now." Stiles pulled away from Derek, unable to hide the heated blush to his cheeks, or that stupid grin that was so wide, it was almost painful.

He took his pen, looked over Derek's form again, like he still couldn't quite believe it.

" Sure about this? It's not going to be easy."

" I can handle it."

" I hear the sheriff there is a total douchebag."

" I've dealt with one for a long time now, I'm used to it."

" You're really starting off on the wrong foot here, but it's your funeral." Stiles chuckled, signing the piece of paper, then stamping it too, before calling out for Parrish, who showed up, straight out of the showers, the buttons to his shirt unmade, his hair almost completely blocking his eyes.

" What the hell, Parrish? You know what, I don't want to hear it. This new-bee is going to be your responsibility from now on, okay? You'll handle his physical training, and I'll prepare a list of all the courses he'll need to take and all that." Parrish messily did his buttons, shaking his head like a wet dog which - wow it'd been a long time since Stiles made one of those jokes but anyway – before eying Derek, looking somewhere between horrified and carefully amused.

" Wait, really? Derek, dude, **_run_**." Parrish mouthed, feigning horror.

" Hey, asshole, there's an extra night-shift that's just asking to be picked up, do you really want to risk it right now?" Stiles threw his filthy towel at Parrish who easily caught it, laughing when Derek did too.

" Get out of here you two, I still need to get cleaned up before dealing with that fucking prick in the interrogation room." Derek inched closer, wanting to kiss him again.

" Don't even think about it, buddy, we're at work now, and you're not kissing me in front of my deputy." Stiles held his hand up, the other going back to throwing dry layers of mud off his clothes, when Derek moved around him, kissing him on the cheek, just by his lips, before running off with Parrish, giggling like a school girl.

" Derek! Don't stray too far, you – absolute fucking idiot." Stiles laughed to himself, knowing that he wouldn't hear it.

" Dog jokes still aren't funny, by the way. And I wouldn't dare." Derek's head popped through the door, startling Stiles, before he was gone again.

 

~~~~

 

 

Derek finished the required training and became an official deputy. He worked almost all the shifts that Stiles did, feeling the need to protect, to surround. Sometimes, they'd have to take different shifts to help with Milo, and during those shifts, Derek would almost always end up taking Milo to the station with an excuse that they were passing by or something, although, there was nothing within a four blocks radius from the station. Stiles laughed about it every time.

Derek and Stiles moved in with each other a year or so later, when Melissa became a permanent resident in the Stilinskis house, and Milo started asking too many questions. Derek was fantastic with him, he loved him like his own, his love nothing like Stiles', but intense all the same. So, when the kids bullied him at school for being adopted, Derek was the one to go down there, in his uniform, and give them a piece of his mind. It reminded Stiles of their own school years, and how Derek used to protect him then too.

When Milo was ten years old, Derek and Stiles filled the papers needed to add Derek's name as a parent, instead of Stiles being his sole guardian. Then, they kind of used that as an excuse to get married. They both cried during Milo's speech, mostly, because it was the first time he called Derek dad. When he hugged him after, it took him uncomfortably long to let go, it was a whole thing really. John cried, Melissa cried, Scott cried which in turn made his kids cry, which made Luna cry and then Derek was crying even more. It was a mess, but it was their mess, and Stiles was certain he wouldn't change a single thing about any of it. Because now, Derek always made sure to tell him where he was going, even if it was simply grocery shopping. Stiles woke up, almost every day, to Derek's lips on his skin, carving out his I love you's until Stiles was alert enough to hear them, and say it back. Now, they were thinking about more babies and a bigger house and maybe going somewhere on vacation but - coming back wasn't mentioned because it was a given. Now, Derek tagged along to those weekly lunch dates with Melissa at the hospital, and he didn't jump in front of bullets, because he knew that Stiles would do it too and he couldn't have that. Now, Stiles was in love and it meant something, it mattered, because Derek was more in love with him than he was anything else, and it filled up his entire being. And every time Milo asked about love, Derek told him the story of these two silly boys that circled the world searching for something that they'd left behind when they'd left each other, and he'd look at Stiles, or for him, and they'd smile like they used to, and it wasn't a sad story, not at all, because they had a lifetime of love that never went away. How many people could say that? God – how did they get so lucky? How did they ever think life pre-return to Beacon Hills was even life at all? How would they fall even more in love the next day? They didn't know. They just knew, it'd happen anyway.   

**Author's Note:**

> That concludes the series, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!


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